oh nice...love that you have his baritone in this... just now making lots of music and i could feel that baritone..literally..the carnal soul coming to pray...raw..very nice jebbi
Wonderful slide down well-chosen words and images.. to a surprising end. You had me in the palm of your hand Jebbi.. so good.Striking mix of stick and slide.. :)
Thanks Claudia and Becky! :)
I do like this style and voice. I think you're well-chosen few words are very effective and moving. Yes, and a surprising windup. Very nice job.
nice...very nice actually...great progression and i can hear the voice...carnal souls come to pray arent we all..
Thank you Steve and Brian! :)
Yes, your ending clinches it all for me. I love the unraveling of this and the final resting. I'm often suprised what can be done with just a few well-chosen words...this is definitely one of those moments...very nice, Jebbi.
powerful words! I feel it coming to get me! I really do. Great poem.
Thank you Emma and Rachel! :)
Wonderful, Jebbi. This really appeals to me. There is real depth of meaning here... not a lot of poetry with that spiritual side (without getting preachy/evangelical). Always said 'soul' had its place... beautiful. A special place reached by the narrator at closure. That semi-colon may be misplaced though (right near the end) if you're meaning to lead onto the last line. It's doing the opposite. Whatever, really love this one Jebbs
maybe just a comma then?...thanks Luke! :)
eloquent words. wow.
awesome job, Jebbi. Each stanza speaks volumes with such brevity!
Thankyou Morning and sheila :)