Publication Credits

BROKEN GLASS -http://www.brokenglasspoetry.webs.com - Published in Online Ezine's First Edition - Crossroad, Schooled, Lost and Crushed

TURBULENCE http://turbulencepoetry.blogspot.com/ - Published in Issue number 7 - Seamstress


Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Frey




stitched
my inhibitions
etched
slide free 
un-glue
themselves;
peel away
from me

turned
your baritone
it burns
and sways
unrestrained
carnal soul 
coming,

to pray

14 comments:

  1. oh nice...love that you have his baritone in this... just now making lots of music and i could feel that baritone..literally..the carnal soul coming to pray...raw..very nice jebbi

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  2. Wonderful slide down well-chosen words and images.. to a surprising end. You had me in the palm of your hand Jebbi.. so good.

    Striking mix of stick and slide.. :)

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  3. I do like this style and voice. I think you're well-chosen few words are very effective and moving. Yes, and a surprising windup. Very nice job.

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  4. nice...very nice actually...great progression and i can hear the voice...carnal souls come to pray arent we all..

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  5. Yes, your ending clinches it all for me. I love the unraveling of this and the final resting. I'm often suprised what can be done with just a few well-chosen words...this is definitely one of those moments...very nice, Jebbi.

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  6. powerful words! I feel it coming to get me! I really do. Great poem.

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  7. Wonderful, Jebbi. This really appeals to me. There is real depth of meaning here... not a lot of poetry with that spiritual side (without getting preachy/evangelical). Always said 'soul' had its place... beautiful. A special place reached by the narrator at closure. That semi-colon may be misplaced though (right near the end) if you're meaning to lead onto the last line. It's doing the opposite. Whatever, really love this one Jebbs

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  8. maybe just a comma then?...thanks Luke! :)

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  9. awesome job, Jebbi. Each stanza speaks volumes with such brevity!

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  10. Thankyou Morning and sheila :)

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